On the way to Santiago

Petrus and Good Combat

In 1986, I went for the first and only time on the pilgrimage known as the Way to Santiago, an experience I described in my first book. We had just finished walking up a small hill, a village appeared on the horizon, and it was then that my guide, whom I shall call Petrus (although that was not his name), said to me:
- Look around and let your eyes settle on some point; then concentrate on what I shall say.
I chose the cross of a church I could see in the distance. Petrus began:
- Man must never stop dreaming; dreams nourish the soul, just as food nourishes the body. Often in our existences, we see our dreams come undone and our desires frustrated, but we must continue to dream, otherwise our soul dies. Much blood has flowed on the field which lies before you, and some of the cruelest battles of the Reconquista were fought here. It does not matter who was right, or who had the truth: the important thing is that both sides were engaged in Good Combat.
“Good Combat is that which is fought because our heart demands it. In heroic times, the times of the wandering knights, that was easy, there was much land to conquer and much to be done. Nowadays, however, the world has changed , and Good Combat has been transported to the battlefields within ourselves.
“Good Combat is that which is fought in the name of our dreams. When they explode inside us with all their might - in youth - we have plenty of courage, but haven’t yet learned to fight.
“After much effort, we eventually learn to fight, and by then no longer have the same courage to enter combat. Because of this, we turn against and fight our own selves, and become our own worst enemy. We say our dreams were childish, difficult to carry out, or the fruit of our ignorance of life’s realities. We kill our dreams because we are afraid of engaging in Good Combat.
“The first symptom that we are killing our dreams is the lack of time. The busiest people I have met in my lifetime always had time for everything. Those who did nothing were always tired, couldn’t cope with the little work they had to do, and complained that the days were too short: in reality, they were scared to engage in Good Combat.
“The second symptom of the death of our dreams are our certainties. Because we do not wish to accept life as a great adventure to be lived, we start to see ourselves as wise, just and correct in the little we demand of our existence. We look beyond the battlements of our everyday lives, hear the sound of clashing lances, smell the sweat and gunpowder, the great falls and warriors’ thirsty glare of victory. But we never notice the joy, the immense Joy dwelling in the hearts of those who fight, because they do not care about victory nor defeat, the important thing is to engage in Good Combat.
“Finally, the third symptom of the death of our dreams is Peace. Life becomes a Sunday afternoon, with no great demands, certainly nothing greater than we are willing to give. And so we think we are mature, having left behind childish fantasies, and having achieved personal and professional success. But in truth, in our innermost heart, we know that what happened was that we renounced the fight for our dreams, ceased to engage in Good Combat.
“When we renounce our dreams and find peace, we encounter a short period of tranquility. But the dead dreams start to rot inside us, and infest every part of our lives.
“We start to become cruel to those around us, and in the end we turn this cruelty upon ourselves. Illnesses and psychoses emerge. That which we sought to avoid in combat - deception and defeat - becomes the only legacy of our cowardice. And one fine day, the dead, rotten dreams make the air difficult to breathe and we begin to long for death, which delivers us from our certainties, from our preoccupations, and from that terrible Sunday afternoon peace.”

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The prayer of Petrus

At a certain point during my pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela, we came to a flat, monotonous field of wheat stretching all the way to the horizon. The only thing breaking the dull landscape was a medieval column with a cross on top, marking the pilgrims’ way. As we went up to it, Petrus - my guide - put down his backpack and knelt down. He asked me to do the same.
- Let us pray so that, should you manage to find your sword, you always hold it with a firm grip.
Petrus said that he admired the Brazilian poet Vinícius de Moraes, and that he wished to say a prayer based on his poetry. And so he began:
- Have pity on those who pity themselves, and think life has been unjust to them - for they will never manage to engage in Good Combat. And have pity on those who are cruel to themselves, and can only see evil in their own acts, and who consider themselves guilty for the injustices of the world. For they know not Your law which says: “even the strands of hair on your head have been counted”.
“Have pity on those who command and those who serve many hours of work, and sacrifice themselves in exchange for a Sunday, when everything is closed and there is nowhere to go. But have pity on those who sanctify their work and go beyond the limits of their own madness, and end up in debt or nailed to the cross by their own brothers. For they know not Your law which says: “be as prudent as a serpent and as simple as the pigeons”.
“Have pity on those who eat, drink and are merry, but are unhappy and lonely in their abundance. But have more pity on those who fast, censure, forbid and feel saintly, and who preach Your name in public places. For they know not Your law which says: “if I testify about myself, my testimony is not true”.
“Have pity on those who fear Death and do not know the many kingdoms they have crossed and the many deaths they have died, and are unhappy because they think that everything will come to an end one day. But have more pity on those who have known their many deaths and think they are immortal, for they know not Your law which says: “he who is not born again may not see the kingdom of God.”
“Have pity on those who believe in nothing, for they will never hear the music of the spheres. But have more pity on those with blind faith, who in laboratories turn mercury into gold, and are surrounded by books about the secrets of the Tarot and the power of the pyramids. For they know not Your law which says: “to the children, the kingdom of the heavens”.
“Have pity on those who cannot see anyone but themselves, and are shut in their limousines, locked in their air conditioned penthouse offices, and suffer in silence the solitude of power. But have pity on those who go without everything, and are charitable, and seek to overcome evil with love only, for they know not Your law which says: “he who has no sword, may he sell his cloak and buy one”.
“Have pity on us, Lord. For we often think we are dressed when we are naked, we think we commit a crime and in reality save someone. Do not forget, in Your mercy, that we unsheathe the sword with the hand of an angel and the hand of a demon gripping the same hilt. For we are in the world, we continue in the world and need You. We always need Your law which says: “when I sent you without bag, pouch or sandals, you lacked nothing”.
Petrus stopped praying. The silence continued. He was gazing at the wheat field around us.

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“Warrior of the Light, a www.paulocoelho.com.br publication.”