Aaargh!! I am “feeling” quite incredibly frustrated at THIS very moment in time- so I decided to post this blog. I DO so detest “wasting time”- and expending my energies (sometimes I do get rather “drained”) needlessly. WHY am I bothering?? WELL, dear reader(s) mysterious and friend, I am unable to make comments right now with this “MySpace” program. Aaaargh yet again. *LOL* I have thus far spent a whopping TWO hours on-line.. managing to post only three comments. SO.

Here’s a “more permanent” method of my “living my life’s purpose” for everyone to partake of, IF they so choose. I read an interesting blog post yesterday, and the topic was sooo incredibly interesting that it is STILL one of those ponderings that is remaining foremost in my thoughts today. It has to do with Byron Katie, and her “breaking one’s self- destructive thought processes”. I cheerfully (IS there any other way for “me” to BE??) admit that I am a novice with all of this “social consciousness, self- actualization” stuff that is around in this universe- and just recently (umm.. about two months ago, perhaps?) had something interesting pointed out to me. Yep.. I am pretty oblivious to what other people are teaching, saying, doing.. because quite honestly- I have all that I can manage with simply living my own “life’s purpose”.

It seems that while I scamper around, posting hopefully kind, encouraging, sometimes thoughtful messages and comments to individuals- this person (Ms. Byron Katie) actually teaches people how to.. live.. what I am “doing”. Huh. AND- interestingly enough, people PAY lots and lots of money to figure out “how-to-change”. Huh again. *LOL* IS this a “scam” as some people have claimed?? Umm.. I dunno- I have never had the finances to indulge myself in one of her seminars. I don’t have the time, nor the desire to .. purposefully change anything about the “way-that-I-am-being” right now. I would think however, that ANY means of helping people to truly WAKE UP, and become interested in changing something about themselves that they are finding particularly distressing, or displeasing is a good thing. Please let me reassure you, dear reader(s).. it is definitely NOT easy, nor is it instantaneous to “break out of one’s negativity”, if you are choosing to do so. By the very nature of this paradoxical universe, there ARE both negative AND positive elements of almost anything you can think of.

Opposites and balance. Anger, love, fear, confidence, sorrow, joy, kindness, hatred..the list is almost infinite. To consciously “BE” appreciating “this-exact-moment-in-time” takes a little practice- as does becoming comfortable with “feeling happy”! *LOL* Trust me on this one.. I do know of which I am typing. Curiously enough, people are sadly V-E-R-Y suspicious of an individual who is truly “being kind”!! I am frequently asked “WHAT do you want?? WHY are you being nice??”. Umm.. I dunno.. because I like it?? *LOL* I cannot “BE” any other way, truly. It is a H-U-G-E effort for ME to purposefully “be” negative. I mean, i really, really have to try to be miserable! Huh.

This doesn’t mean that I am totally “innoculated” against righteous indignation and annoyances. Indeed- sometimes my very heart and soul physically ACHES with sadness for the plight of others. The way that I manage to “climb out” of this awesomely dark pit of hopelessness is.. to.. MOVE!! Umm.. yep. Forcing one’s self to simply GET UP and.. take a deep breath.. and purposefully CONNECT with anything within this universe that has a tangible life form truly does help me. Sometimes it is a “seemingly simple” ant that happens to catch my eye; other times I am drawn to rocks and stones.. or.. water. In particularly distressing fleeting (thankfully) times, a combination of “actively moving and noticing” in combination with.. MUSIC truly does help me so much.. it is almost magical.

EACH individual existing upon this planet.. right.. NOW.. is important. I truly DO “think” AND “feel” that we all need each other.. to become MORE than what we can each singularly achieve in a vacuum. Umm.. synergy. Yes- I AM knowing that no one person is going to “think, behave, feel, act, sense” this universe exactly as I do- and I am pretty relieved in knowing this. You would NOT want to, either. Because?? YOU need to be “who-YOU-are-meaning-to-be”. What “feels” good, and true to YOU is what you might want to “feel”. Feeling is a skill, just as “thinking” is one as well. Heh.. some people TRULY do NOT like to think (one of my daughters actually TOLD me this!) while for others (like myself) it brings great joy!! As with all other “essences” of life- maintaining a b-a-l-a-n-c-e is important. Moderation.

So. I dunno why I am typing this.. I just “feel” SO compelled at times that I literally HAVE to act- or else I will keep obsessing until I have DONE whatever that little “nagging itch” swirling around my brain is encouraging me to actively DO. I have lived my whole life “like this”.. and so far, I have managed all right. Nope- I am definitely NOT well- known, popular, wealthy, or any of those other things that society uses to judge whether a person is “successful in life”. I am.. simply.. genuinely and truly.. HAPPY. I’m NOT gonna apologize for this- as I have truly earned my genuine happiness with each horror and tragedy that I have endured in my life. YES, I have suffered. MORE than you can ever POSSIBLY imagine. BUT, to me??? It is not important. Living TODAY.. “right-HERE-and-NOW!!” is what I live for.

Aaahhh.. I have to stop typing, as my “life happening” in my living room is crashing down. I think Tooey managed to knock Petrie’s cage off the book case again. *LOL* Yep.. life at this moment IS pretty interesting. SO. Dear reader(s).. “Happy Sparkle Thoughts” to you. As you go about “doing” whatever it is that you are finding perhaps a little FUN today, please know that I DO genuinely care. I wish you with every molecule of my existence positive energies, kindness, and encouragement.
Darling Saritah?? Thanks for the tip about actually USING the internet.. to benefit myself!! *LOL* Sometimes I do forget that I exist. Curious statement, huh?

by Sue