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January 28th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
All right. My positive addictions are much easier for me to confess. NOW I must be honest (for that also is who I am)- and cheerfully admit those things that I am knowing are negative for my own physical “being”.. but.. *whine* I like them! Coffee.. several of my physicians have scolded me (even though I strictly adhere to ONE cup a day)- yet I find too much pleasure in this heavenly elixir. Cigarettes.. *cough*.. YES, I have a “bad habit”. I KNOW this.. I do not hide from it.. and I do not inflict others with my habit. I am extremely conscientious, I do not litter (I take my “butt” with me!)- I always ask when in the presence of others if it will cause them distress. I simply… ENJOY smoking. Also.. I receive a sheepishly curious “twinge” of pleasure when someone remarks, “Oh.. you do not.. LOOK like someone who smokes.”. Hah. Never, ever.. “judge a book by its cover”. AND.. I am sometimes deeply plagued by trying (sometimes I get swallowed up) to combat those negative energies I find in this universe. Losing “myself” in the seas of negativity and despair is a curiously negative addiction- thusly.. one which I must change.