Recently having returned to my physical “place-in-space-and-time” where I currently reside, I find myself convinced more than EVER about the reality of “conscious creation”. I am also knowing that I shall be moving- physically.. to return to that incredible “vacation place”, as it is my true home. Nope, I am not yet “knowing” exactly HOW this will become reality, simply that it IS “going to BE” as this is what I am needing, to “BE” more fully “me”.

This world is just so full of mystery, miracles, and paradoxical happenings that sometimes when I get caught up in “thinking”, my head spins. *sigh* Since this happens as well, when I am in an intensive “feeling” state, I have gotten quite used to “hanging on” to things that help me to “stay grounded”.. so I don’t go ~poof~.

This latest adventure is JUST so incredibly amasing, and to be quite honest.. quite outside of those boundaries of what cautious people would EVER find themselves “actively DOing”. Thank goodness I am NOT “one of those individuals”! You see, I follow my OWN “heart and soul”, I do indeed listen quite intently and pay attention to that specific “something” that does connect and resound in the very centre of my “being”. When “it” happens- it feels exactly like that vibrational force of a beautifully ringing and humming of a Tibetan Singing Bowl. HAVE you ever felt this, dear reader(s)?? That specific instant when you realise that “this” is the moment of whatever truth you are needing to know- and it JUST “feels” so exquisitely, perfectly “good-AND-true” that you are knowing that it simply has to “BE”? *sigh* Yep. My “vacation” has turned out to have been an epiphany.

You see, I have been living quite an interesting (sorta, I suppose) life, and have also not known that I TRULY have been deluding myself. Most of my major decisions that I have made in the past have been (unselfishly, I thought) for o-t-h-e-r people. I do go about my daily life quite happily.. and genuinely WANT to help others to “find their “inner self”"- and simply “BE” joyous and HAPPY. I *LOVE* spreading those visible, glowing particles (to me, as I CAN see them) of positive energies, genuine kindness, compassion and encouragement to whomever I possibly can. It simply “feels” like something I was meant to “do” with my life, and?? I am. At the same time, I sheepishly admit, I have been sorta “baaaaad” about completing the “circle of caring and compassion”; and NOT willing to accept anything in return.

So. I am about to change this, in a HUGE way. Truly living means that there ARE risks involved, and perhaps I will “get scared” about those infinite “what- if’s” that may crop up. I have DEFINITELY been hearing from other people in the last few days, THEIR version of why I “should NOT” be even considering such a drastic change. BUT, you know what?? When all is said and done- THEY are definitely NOT “me”. I am knowing with every molecule of my physical “self” that I need to be “DOing” this… just for “me”. No other reason, just for the fact that I am knowing that I need to nourish and take care of my heart and soul, so that I am able to keep on with my purpose of helping “me-to-be-we”.

This “vacation-which-has-just-begun” has been an extraordinary experience, and I also found out something QUITE practical. As I do use my desktop, and the internet quite a bit.. I have a wide variety of passwords that I need to remember to “gain access” to certain sites. *sigh* I am ALSO quite forgetful, and depend upon my internet browser w-a-y too much. Since I am the only person using my computer, I figured it would be a grand idea (and a MUCH more efficient use of time!) to simply have it “remember” those various things for me. *sigh again* Turns out that it r-e-a-l-l-y wasn’t such a “great idea” after all. I do live “in-the-moment”, and as a result, have grabbed passwords that are SO random?? I couldn’t even figure them out!! *LOL* Whilst using my friend’s computer, I tried for HOURS to access my e-mail, and several other sites.. and then wisely decided that I simply needed to “let it go”- and enjoy my vacation, rather than waste my time with THAT particular “exercise in futility”. It did cause me to ponder for a while, though. How DO some people REMEMBER all of their various passwords?? I’ve tried writing them on those wonderful “Post-It” notes (I have a wall covered with 3 1/2″ neon squares!), but can never FIND the specific one I am needing at a given moment in time. AND- it’s not even like I have a plethora of passwords to remember, either. Ah well.

Time and life marches (waltzes?) on, as will I. Constantly changing, growing, experiencing- learning, pondering. I DO truly hope that YOU (dear reader!) are finding your own way of moving to whatever sounds you can hear from this magnificently humming “UNI~verse”. Please find your own path, and share yourself with others. It really IS important, in this grand scheme of humanity. People really ARE “paying attention” even if they aren’t actively letting you know. So, please let me say “Thank you” in every language.. because I do care. Ooohhh!! AND?? Yep. “Happy Sparkle Thoughts”, in the form of white billowing clouds- drifting across the sky.