from our Sue (08 Sep 2008):

I have LOTS of “stuff to DO” (prepare for my program, feed my critters, etc, etc.) right now, but.. I am “feeling” like I just HAVE to write. *sigh* ARGH!! Oh, dear reader(s), this business of “BEing” a human (for me, at least) is SO darn difficult at times. There is just sooo many things to do, dreams to LIVE, and people whom I treasure beyond anything else in the WORLD- that I dearly want to “BE” with, and places to GO. NOW!! RIGHT at this v-e-r-y second!!! Yet, I simply cannot. I mean, this is GOING to happen.. as I can “feel” it and believe it with every molecule of my existence- BUT. It j-u-s-t ain’t happening yet. So. WHAT to dooooooo, she whines. *LOL*

Live in the “NOW”. This exact moment. Because?? Truly.. this IS what matters most. I mean, I am knowing that my DREAMS are, indeed, important- and WILL happen.. so I need to just trust in this- and.. take a REALLY deep breath. Let it out, and focus on.. NOW. I will stop that crazy “hamster wheel” that is squeaking endlessly in my brain (you know.. all of those “what-ifs” and “maybes” and “if- onlys”??)- and just “BE”.

Yes, I miss terribly that awesome experience of “molecular connection”, those seemingly endless moments in time that thankfully have been captured in photographs- BUT. I HAVE to accept this annoying fact that irregardless of what I truly WANT.. that fickle and elusive mistress.. time.. is marching on. And, as I really do like “BEing”, I think I’d better “get with my inner me”, and apply myself to appreciating the “NOW” that is my life. Trying to PLAN my future is something that I know needs to happen, rationally. I mean- I’d dearly LOVE to simply ~poof~! and “quantum leap” myself to where I am “feeling” my energies. But I’ve been trying this.. and it JUST ain’t working. I really do become dreadfully impatient with myself- and I am beginning to believe that the universe is gifting to me an incredible lesson- whether I happen to LIKE it, or not! *LOL*

I’m really NOT very good at planning things. I’m the sort of person who is extraordinarily spontaneous- and the decisions that I make would probably send most people into fits of apoplexy. This includes those (to most people, anyway) those HUGE life- altering decisions of physically moving from one region.. and “plopping myself down” somewhere totally different- and unknown. I have no fear of the “unknown”.. as I truly LOVE discovering the “new and different” aspects that life has to offer- and I especially adore the grand mystery of it all.

What REALLY does frighten me?? People. Yep.. this would include YOU, dear reader(s). I am always honest- and at THIS particular moment-in-space-and-time, I will admit to “BEing” quite terrified of allowing myself to “trust in people”! I mean, I CAN handle rocks. Rocks are v-e-r-y safe and dependable. If ya happen to notice one, you can pick it up, put it on a shelf somewhere.. look at it- and be relatively assured in knowing it simply will BE there tomorrow. Unless you happen to have a curious feline who loves sweeping “stuff” off shelves with a resounding and satisfying ~CRASH~!! People?? Hahahah.. not so much.

I CANNOT control what someone else is “thinking/feeling/BEing” at all. I CAN control how I am choosing to… “think/feel/BE”, though. I haven’t had the greatest prior experiences with people, and.. as I struggle with this concept of “time-moving-forward”, I am beginning to realise (yep, I am a slow learner at times!) that I HAVE to simply let go and QUIT clinging to “that-which-was”. It isn’t NOW. I simply am needing to let myself appreciate THIS moment, and let the natural progression of those things that are being created happen. *sigh* Hmmm.. and?? I am also “thinking” that I am actually QUITE fortunate to be receiving this v-e-r-y nice lesson from the universe.

Anyway. Such are the random ponderings of a real human being.. who IS still learning, experiencing, actively participating in living- just the way I bet you are, dear reader. Thank you for reading my little “message to myself”.. which is ending up to be a genuine acceptance of this grand universe. Please be knowing that I truly DO appreciate your essence.. as just by reading this?? You are helping me to “BE”. Whether you are truly believing it, or not- you ARE important to me.. and contribute to the awesome audible humming that I can hear.. of the “UNI~verse” full of life and paradoxical mysteries. I hope that you are able to gift to yourself some “Happy Sparkle Thoughts” of positive energies, genuine kindness, joy, AND hope.

Thanks to TD, I have this wonderful poem to share with you:

“WE ARE OUR DREAMS”

WE ARE THOUGHT,. WE ARE EVERYTHING…
WE’RE WHAT WE HOLD IN OUR MINDS, WE ARE OUR DREAMS.
WHEN WE BELIEVE,. WE CAN DO ANYTHING…
HAVE FAITH IN=2 0U, SEE WHAT THE UNIVERSE BRINGS.
KEEP ONLY GOOD THOUGHTS AND GOOD THINGS MUST COME.
GET LOST IN POSSIBILITIES, ALL THINGS ARE JUST ONE…
THE MOON AND THE SUN,. THE MOUNTAINS AND BEACH…
THE AIR THAT WE BREATHE, THE EARTH, WE ARE PART OF EACH.
WE LEARN AND WE TEACH AND WHEN WE LOVE AND WE LAUGH,
WE ARE ONE WITH OURSELVES,. THE FUTURE AND PAST…
AT THIS TIME WE ARE REAL,. WHAT WE’RE MEANT TO BE.
IMPOSSIBLE IS LOST, WE CONTROL THIS ENERGY,
INSIDE EACH OF US, INFINITE POWER OF DREAMS.
ALL THINGS COME FROM THOUGHT, THE MOST POWERFUL THING.
WE CONTROL EVERYTHING, WE GET TO CHOOSE HOW WE FEEL.
WITH OUR IMAGINATION, WE GET TO CHOOSE WHAT’S NOW REAL…
WE CAN HEAL, WE CAN TEACH, WE CAN LEARN WHAT WE KNOW.
AN IDEAL BECOMES REAL,. ONE THAT NEVER SEEMED SO.
KNOW THERE IS NO CAN’T, JUST DO,. ASK ONLY WHY NOT.
NOT WHY, STOP HOLDING IN YOUR MIND NEGATIVE THOUGHTS.
THINK OF NEGATIVE AS DARKNESS IN UR MIND, DON’T HAVE 2 FIGHT,
2 GET IT OUT, DON’T HAVE 2 TRY, JUST TURN ON THE LIGHT.
DON’T WONDER WHY THERE’S NO WIND. ROW, SWIM! GO, GET IN!
ALL THAT U HOLD IN UR MIND, IS JUST WHAT YOU’VE LET IN.
THOUGHTS BROUGHT W/ EMOTION GOT CAUGHT, GOOD OR BAD,
SO FEEL FREE 2 FEEL REAL GOOD, NOT PAST THOUGHTS, U COULD HAVE,
NOT WHAT U SHOULD HAVE, BUT ALL U WILL HAVE AND HAVE NOW.
CHERISH, BE GRATEFUL, LIVE WELL AND STAND PROUD.
THIS PLANET IS OUR PLAYGROUND, PLAY…
APPRECIATE EVERYTHING, EVERY DAY…
WONDERFUL IN EVERY WAY, MAYBE THAT’S JUST HOW IT SEEMS?
BUT THAT’S JUST EVERYTHING,. FOR WE ARE OUR DREAMS…

from our ‘Happy Sparkle Thoughts’~Sue:

I JUST love days when I wake up, and have energy. Sooo- dear reader(s), I have a bit of time and I am wanting to share it with YOU. Hahahaha- a whole plethora of random musings and ponderings I “feel” are getting ready to spill forth. In no particular order of importance, here are some glimpses into my morning.

My first priority is (of course!) having my rambunctious Bella take me out for my morning adventure. Several squirrels were noticed- and Bella t-r-i-e-d to climb several trees. Then, back home to brew up a delicious pot of Colombian dark roast coffee. I noticed, as I looked (and really SAW!) the inside of my refrigerator, that there were several containers of questionable contents. HOW does that happen, anyway?? See- through displays of alien life forms GROWING.. ugh! *LOL* One especially interesting speciman could serve quite nicely as a winning entry for a “Mad Scientist Gone Amuck!” contest.

As today is Saturday (tamale- making day)- I also needed to remove frozen chicken from the freezer to let thaw.. in my SPARKLING clean (well, it is now) refrigerator. I also decided to mix up a new recipe of special “wild bird seed delight”. Instead of spending extra money on the “already created” store- bought version, I mix up the kinds of seeds and items that I know the wildlife prefer. I shell peanuts, mix in millet, sunflower, safflower seeds, AND?? EEEK!! Those darn “scary raisins”! NO clue why raisins send shudders up my spine, but they simply do. It stems from having an over- active imagination, I suppose. I can remember as a young child pleading and crying- so that my grandmother would REMOVE those horrible “bloated flies” from my porridge. I think she’d be quite pleased that each time I encounter raisins, I fondly remember her kindness- as she DID, indeed, remove those offensive (to ME, anyway!) objects from my sight. *LOL*

Other mundane musings took place whilst cleaning the two kitty litter boxes. Yep. Proper care of pets includes “not-so-much-FUN-stuff”- and also noticing that e-v-e-r-y single feline I have ever had the pleasure of “sharing space” with has the very same annoying habit. You probably already know what’s coming, if you have cats. Yes.. JUST when the fresh litter is offered?? It’s like they have some sort of specialised “kitty radar”- and they RUN to see who gets to use it first!! Sometimes this happens while I am still trying to put in the fresh litter. *sigh*

Well, the chicken is boiling on the stove- and I need to get busy. I’m thinking that while the tamales are cooking, I will create another necklace. It relaxes me, and you know?? I really DO have this belief that actively engaging and immersing one’s self in life by “DOing” things is quite rewarding. Not only for one’s own emotional health, but?? Sometimes.. it can even rescue cats!!

Oh, did I forget to share this with you?? Hahahah, you might enjoy this. When my ever- curious cat Tooey, got herself hopelessly stuck in the masive tree right outside, I was quite frantic with worry. Especially as she had been up there an entire day, and showed NO signs of coming down of her own free will. I think everyone living close- by KNEW she was in the tree- as she wasn’t being quiet at all about her predicament! A group of kindly neighborhood men got together, and toggled up something that one would see on the National Geographic channel. You know, one of those interesting documentaries about the Amazon rainforest, and how they manage to climb up those HUGE trees?? This event was pretty neat- as people gathered to watch several guys scurry up the tree, and grab that darn cat. As I speak very rudimentary Spanish- and they spoke no English, one of the kids that I teach in my program translated that they wanted to help rescue the cat as a way to say “Thank you” to me, for the gift of tamales that I distribute each Saturday.

Anyway. I AM so wishing for YOU, dear reader (mysterious AND known) a day that is BEing filled with all sorts of “stuff” that helps you to smile. I am also wanting to thank you for reading! We all do need each other, just to encourage, support.. and continue along in this fabulous journey of LIFE! “Happy Sparkle Thoughts” of whatever-it-is you are needing.

‘Are you a UK-based charity with a compelling story to tell? Do you want to connect with your supporters, volunteers, and donors on YouTube?’

Well. I have written in my blog a few times about a wild blind sparrow that I first noticed and “sort of” tamed to land on my hand when I whistle. It hatched in the spring of 2007- and still visits me regularly. That it has managed to survive is in and of itself quite miraculous.. BUT?? This story gets better. Several weeks ago, I was putting out fresh water and birdseed on my balcony- and had to do a quick “double AND triple take”! There, feeding quietly.. were TWO blind sparrows! The adult male, AND a much smaller one. Talk about a *WOW* moment! *LOL* I did get a picture of the little one, but it’s not a great picture, as it is sitting in the feeder- and I will have to do quite a bit of work to get it to land on my hand. Hahahah, as it took me about 8 months to get a good picture of the adult male sparrow, you m-i-g-h-t have to be a little patient for photographic evidence, dear readers. And.. you are NOT going to believe this (well, unless you know me!) BUT?? Yesterday evening, I went out to refresh the seeds, and. Oooohhhh- have you already guessed?? YES indeed! TWO baby blind sparrows, and the bigger one were all feeding. I do appreciate the wonderful and compelling mysteries of nature.

Which provides a smooth segue into my next “pondering moment”. There was a little blurb on the evening news several nights ago that really caught my attention. As I have frequent dreams that I am “BEing” a sea turtle (it’s true!), it really provoked quite a session of “pondering and musing” for me. I still find myself thinking and “feeling” about this story- SO much that it is having that little nagging effect that I call “brain itch”. You know?? Like a thought or idea simply will NOT dissipate from your consciousness unless you take some sort of action? Well- I managed to find this video about the mysteries of nature- about a sea turtle who lost his mate. It is quite sad, but interestingly tinged with an aura of hope and mystery. With something like this, I like to call it a perfect example of “Happy Darkle Thoughts”. A balance of the lightness and darkness that is one of the paradoxically necessary elements in this “UNI~verse”.

Wonderful email from Beautiful Soul and musician, Michael Annotti, having received the ‘~ONE~BEautiful Soul’ video link from us:

As I am ONE with LOVE …

My heart sings for JOY .. knowing WE .. are together …

and I am not alone …

PEACE is flowing thru our body, mind & soul .. CONNECTING our thoughts ..

and GROWING in the LIGHT of the NEW DAY!!

ONE LOVE TO YOU CRIS & MY CYRES FAMILY …

THANK YOU FOR THIS BLESSING ~

MICHAEL

Heart~felt thanks, Michael

and All who are sending such kindness in response to viewing the ‘One Beautiful Soul’ video

Sue wrote to me, ‘.. wondering how the weather is being there. I mean, I SHOULD already be knowing this, as obviously our mind is shared! *LOL* Take a look at my blog posting for evidence. ..’ We both live with mutual synchronicities of thoughts and feelings! Some might even use words like telepathy. I flew to Sue’s blog post and, no-surprise, discovered her writing about Randy Pausch. Knowing that she’s also a big Appreciator of him. While I know Sue has a chronic major illness, we talk and co-create every day and it never ever comes into the day we create together. She has never complained, or said she can’t do something. All I receive is a continuous, and “expanding exponentially” as we love to say here, outpouring of unconditional love and support. In alignment with my previous blog, and, most especially my heart and soul, “Sue, I love you, and appreciate you, more than words can express.” You are ‘Happy Sparkle Thoughts’ personified, you walk your talk, you are a remarkable human being, and I am blessed beyond measure by your presence.
This is Sue’s blog:

Today is Saturday. YAY! I AM excited- not only for the fact that it is going to be a day of admittedly “sloth- like” activity for me- but, also I am appreciating that I am alive. Living with a chronic major illness could be quite difficult, if I allowed it to be. I am choosing a different way, and it is working quite well for me. Finding the right balance of physically being able to DO all of the various tasks in any given day (and the time!) is something I am still working on- as I have not yet perfected the art of “juggling elephants”. The Summer Lunch program is so much bigger than it was last summer- it really is mind- blowing when I take the time to actually “think” about it. You see, last summer I lived here, and noticed that after the kids finished their lunch, they were reluctant to leave- but had “nothing to do”. Sooo, I began selecting certain books to read aloud to the kids. I had a group of about 8 kids, and thought I was doing well.

THEN, I decided to “ramp it up” a notch, and began setting guidelines and rules for participation. I bought an assortment of “educational games”, and various toys (Legos and Tinker Toys are a HUGE hit!)- sidewalk chalk for the blackboard, and trying to add relevant reading materials to the “lending library”. EACH child that wants to play with the toys??? FIRST, they have to sit down, and complete two (minimum) worksheets (one math, one writing) before they are allowed to play. And, for every ten worksheets they complete to my satisfaction (90 or above), they get to pick a “prize”. I have bought crayons, scissors, glue sticks, decorative pencils, fun looking erasers, fancy notebooks, folders, etc, etc.. notice the theme? *LOL* You see, most of these kids are not able to have these supplies like their fellow classmates- and it does impact their self- esteem. AND while I do “feel” badly about this, at the same time, I want to encourage “responsibility” and a sort of work ethic. Most things in life are not free- nor (this is what I am believing, you can disagree) should people travel through life with the attitude of “entitlement”.

I have happily discovered that if you set the bar high enough, these kids will rise up- and even surpass expectations. I guess I am doing something right, because now the average attendance is between 32- 34 kids. Daily. Hahahahah- and the really rewarding thing is to watch the incredulous look upon the faces of those adults who are visiting my program for the very first time. The most common two comments are, “These children are so well- behaved!”. Hah! Sometimes I think to myself, “You thankfully were not here yesterday…”. The other comment that pleases me to a degree beyond explanation is, “You mean these kids are asking for worksheets, and they like to be doing them???”. Yes, this is very true.

Several weeks ago (due to my not-yet-perfected elephant juggling) I ran out of printer ink for a few days, so I had to make copies (at the main office) of some worksheets that I had already made. Who says kids don’t remember??? *LOL* I was informed by quite a few assertive individuals, in varied levels of dismay, “Miss Sue, I’ve already done this one!!! Why can’t I get a NEW one?”. A great lesson for both the kids- AND myself. They definitely appreciate the new worksheets- and I learned that, indeed, they are “paying attention”, even when I have my doubts! AND- this summer, I have a whopping average attendance of between 32- 34 kids. On some days, I just manage to achieve some semblance of “order” but on those days when I am having the MUCHLY appreciated help of my volunteers?? *sigh* I can actually “feel” the positive energies- and am knowing I am exactly where I need to BE “in-this-moment”.

So. I really wasn’t planning on writing all this, it just kinda “oozed out”! I do want you to know, dear reader, mysterious and known- that I am “being” a bit sad today, and contemplating my own “life’s purpose” a little more closely. I do not have the health problem that Randy Pausch lived with- but.. on some days I do feel the “ticking of time” quite loudly. I found out yesterday that he has sadly moved on- and I am SO thankful that he had the courage and foresight to leave us with his “essence”.. in this video. I may have blogged about this video before- but I DO “feel” this topic is worth revcisiting every once in a while. It IS a little over an hour long. I also assure you, that if you are not doing anything else??? THIS video will be well worth your time.

This is my “Happy Sparkle Thoughts” for you today. LIVE… LOVE… and please remember the JOY that living does bring to us.

Dearest Jane

SMILE – IT FEELS GOOD!

We have just enjoyed a lovely week at the Norfolk coast; the sun shone and the warm breeze came in from over the sea, giving us a perfect seaside holiday.

We were sitting next to our motorhome, supping tea, and generally chatting and quietly enjoying our surroundings.

Around us like an ornate tapestry were gorse bushes with their dazzling yellow flowers set against the green hillsides.

Surrounding the hill were woods, carpeted with bluebells whilst the canopy is still light and airy. Their brightness just beginning to fade as their season was passing.

Pink profusions of giant flowers of the Rhodedendron bushes had recently just begun to emerge.

Birds were competing with each other in the canopy with ever increasing intensity as their songs filled the air.

What could be more beautiful and more easy to enjoy than sitting in such surroundings, or taking a quiet stroll in the woods,
with so much to see, hear, and breathe in.

So wanting to share the beauty with You. You make my heart sing, Little Soulbird.

May the sun fill you with its warmth.

Love and Light always …… Mum

I heard your voice .. your beautiful softness ..

And in that moment ..

As the smile travelled across my face ..

I heard, “Hello Mum” ..

The smile in your voice ever present ..

The warm feeling that spread outward ..

From my heart centre ..

Was bliss that transcended any spoken word.

“Hello Jane” ..

I responded ..

With a smile, from deep within.

We connected with words ..

And the warmth of our meeting ..

Remained with me for hours.

The feelings that words bring can touch us with love ..

As I love you, and you love me ..

My dearest Daughter ..

Well- in the interest of “time management” and an impending tornado (Yep, we get them here in North Carolina!) I gotta make this quick. BUT, as yet again, I am compelled to type, I shall. My day today has been quite curious- as I really seem to have accomplished practically nothing tangible- except for a huge pan of lasagna that is cooling off on my kitchen counter.

This morning, I answered a knocking at my door- and it was one of the kids from my program. He had several of the books I had lent him.. and tears in his eyes. Of course, I asked him what was wrong, and he told me, “I have to move away today, and I will never be able to come back here.”. Huh. I don’t know if a 4- leafed clover helped him to “feel” any better, but it was the best I could manage. I tried to encourage him to keep one of the books, but he stated that he could not bring “anything big” with him. I found his statement to be quite sad, especially since the book was NOT the size of a toaster oven.

Anyway. I thought I’d share YET another interestingly “odd quirk” I have, with you, dear reader(s)- as you’ve been so wonderfully supportive. I am hoping that my “confessions of a curious being” are accepted in the manner in which I am intending to present them. Simply honest and perhaps NOT “totally normal” things. Whatever “normal” is.. I have no idea- I am just “Happy-BEing-Me”. I have, every since I can remember (probably around the age of two) had a curious “sight thing”. Heh. I have been checked by numerous neurologists, optometrists- AND a LOT of “negativists”. You see, I actually DO “see” those “Happy Sparkle Thoughts” that I incessantly distribute. They appear as gold glittery sparkles, and float in the air in front of me. I have TRIED to touch them, but?? Nope- I have not managed to “capture tangible evidence” of their existence, as I was so fortunate to have done when I managed to photograph “my” blind sparrow. By the way?? It only took me eight months of trying to GET that photograph! *LOL*

Of course, I used to ask other individuals if THEY could see them- and none of them were able to. Some people accused me of fabricating, others were convinced I had “something wrong with me”; and hustled me off to many different doctors. *sigh* I thusly learned that in order to “be normal”, I should NOT disclose ALL information that I was “receiving”. Heh. WHAT a sad way to live!! Really. I personally do not care if other people are able to actively “see” sparkles. I mean, I truly HOPE they can, because they are very beautiful, and calming to me- and I truly wish other people to be sharing in this wonderful experience! Whether one “can” or” cannot” is not meaning one person is “better” than someone else. All this truly means is that EACH of us processes information that we receive from the world around us a bit differently. So. I suppose my message is this, dear reader(s), those mysterious ones, AND friends. One does not need to be comparing themselves to someone else.. to be “knowing” that what they are experiencing IS real. If you’re experiencing it, it’s YOUR reality. If WHAT you are sensing, or experiencing is distressing and.. painful?? Umm.. you might want to be asking advice from a medical doctor.

It IS our “human nature” to want to be able to discover if others have the same experiences, perhaps because they are so wondrous that one simply wants to know if other people are “noticing” the same things. It is our very nature to want to support other individuals, and to help them grow “into” whoever they are choosing to.. BE.

So. As I scamper around, actively living my “life’s purpose” of giving something that I AM able to give to others, please be knowing that those “Happy Sparkle Thoughts” that I am sending to you.. when they are in front of ME, are gold, gently floating sparkles of light. What do YOU see them as? I hope your evening is going well- and?? I have a H-U-G-E pan of lasagna, if anyone is hungry!

by Sue